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Jan 23, 2020 - 6:52:33 PM

1049 posts since 2/1/2011

RIDDLE:  "How do you STOP a mandolin player from playing?"

ANSWER:  "Put sheet music on front of him!"...  crying  sad frown laugh

Edited by - MandoTom2 on 01/23/2020 18:53:45

Jan 29, 2020 - 9:55:54 AM

1049 posts since 2/1/2011

A young man is walking through the church towards the office where his father is the Pastor...

"Hey, Dad!", greets the son...

"Can I borrow the keys to the family car this weekend?", he inquires...

"Let me think about that, son", responds the father...

"Your mother tells me you haven't been keeping up with your chores here lately", recalls the father...

"And your math and English grades have slipped also"...

"Mmmm", responds the son...

"And lastly, you need to get your hair trimmed... As the pastor's son, you need to look more presentable", scolds the father.

"Oh, OK, dad... I'll work on it", says the son...

Several weeks later, the boy re-approaches his father...

"Dad?", asks the son, "Can I borrow the car keys this weekend?"...

"You mother tells me you've been getting your chores done with her having to bug you about, so that is a major improvement", say the father...

"And I see your grades have come up, too", responds the father...

"But you haven't done ANYTHING about your hair, young man!"

"Aw dad... Jesus had long hair... Moses had long hair and what about Sampson? He had long hair too!", replies the son.

"Yes, son, you're right... all three of those guys DID have long hair", remembers the father...

"And they WALKED everywhere they went!"... 

Edited by - MandoTom2 on 01/29/2020 09:56:42

Feb 14, 2020 - 1:19:58 PM

1049 posts since 2/1/2011

MandoTom:   After all these years, I FINALLY got a recording contract!

BanjoBill:  Really?   Congratulations!

MandoTom:   Yeah!  If I buy 1 CD at regular club prices, I get 12 more for FREE!  surprise

Edited by - MandoTom2 on 02/14/2020 13:32:16

Feb 23, 2020 - 6:29:28 AM

1049 posts since 2/1/2011

Mando Player #1:   Did you hear about the guy who got shot 200 times with an 'Upholstery Gun?'

Mando Player #2:   No! Is he OK?

Mando Player #1:   Yes, I hear he is "fully recovered" now! 

Feb 24, 2020 - 10:01:35 AM

1049 posts since 2/1/2011

Mando Player A:   "What do you call 'dating', after age 65?"...

Mando Player B:  "I don't know, what?"...

Mando Player A:  "Carbon 14!"...

Mar 1, 2020 - 11:47:47 PM

1049 posts since 2/1/2011

Standing in the field, one cow says to the other,

"Our very lives are at steak!"...

3/2/2020, MandoTom2

Edited by - MandoTom2 on 03/01/2020 23:48:45

Mar 4, 2020 - 3:13:35 PM

1049 posts since 2/1/2011

The difference between a VIOLIN and a FIDDLE?

On a VIOLIN, you put 'strings'...

On a FIDDLE, you put 'STRANGS!'...

MandoTom2, 3/4/2020

Mar 7, 2020 - 12:23:04 PM

1049 posts since 2/1/2011

What do you call a female moth?

Answer: A myth!

Jul 4, 2020 - 9:48:54 PM
likes this

Jim Yates


472 posts since 12/22/2010


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